Making a list, checking it twice...

I would have loved to stay in bed most of the morning but I had things to accomplish today. I recently sold an item on ebay and had to get it mailed out. As this required a trip to the post office, I gathered up all the tasks I wanted to get done in town (and usually can't due to the the store closing times) and headed out to get stuff accomplished. The post office was no problem. Next was the pet center. Sadie needs a new collar since her current one can't be let out any more without risking it coming undone on it's own. I have get a specific collar because the little stinker puts so much force behind her efforts to escape that she breaks most collars! Unfortunately the pet center wasn't yet open (owner was late) so I headed over to Walmart to print out some pictures for scrapbooking. This was a task I had wanted to do for some time, but hadn't yet organized the pictures for printing. I did so this morning specifically for this purpose but it ended up being a waste of time. I discovered that the settings on my digital camera need to be adjusted for "larger" pictures. The resolution of mine is too low for even a 4x6 print, which was the smallest available at the kiosk. Figures. So, I purchased a pack of photo paper to print images at home. I'm not looking forward to the rapid decrease in my ink cartridge but I have no other option. I grabbed a few other items that I kept forgetting to put on my shopping lists and headed back to the pet store. Finally the owner had showed up and I grabbed the last of the "Sadie-proof" collars. I'll have to switch her collars tomorrow after I give her a bath. She's gonna love me. Ha ha!

I made one impromptu stop that resulted in the purchase of an old-fashioned mirror with hooks but I love it! I already have it hanging up and every time I see it, I smile. But, now the wall space above it looks odd and bare so I'll have to think up of some other stuff to hang up. I think a nice horizontal painting would be good. I have another painting hanging at that height (a la Becky) so it won't look too odd hanging above the door. But, if I go with the painting, I'll have to go buy more paint! I'm picky about what I hang on the walls so I tend to do my own paintings. ;)

Other than flitting about town, I did manage two major accomplishments today. First, I got caught up on copying all of the recipes I had marked in magazines. Second, I finally got around to making my Christmas cards. Since I usually plan projects and take forever to finish them, I consider this a major accomplishment! It's done! Yes! The next step will be to actually write in them and mail them out in time for Christmas! LOL

So, to that end, I've made my preliminary list of card recipients. It's longer than I thought it would be, which got me to thinking about the people in my life that I consider important enough to receive a card. It's kinda funny. In the past I've thought that the number of people in my friendship circle is pretty small, but looking at this list has made me realize that my life is much richer in friendships that I ever gave credit for. And this is just the friends list! I told Mom she could add my name to the family card. LOL I remember the one and only time I sent Christmas cards to everyone and it was astonishing how much I spent on cards and postage. Ouch! I tend to keep my list short now, but I guess three decades of living will lengthen any "short" list. ;)

The other thing that struck me while making this list is the that I only have three people on it to represent friendships from high school. I mentally went through names of people that I could contact, if I wanted, and then immediately crossed them off without writing them down. Prior to last month, I probably would have sent cards anyway, but I had an encounter with a former classmate last month that kind of closed that chapter in my life. I never realized that it was still open but apparently I hadn't yet completely accepted that relations with those long-ago acquaintances had forever changed. Don't misunderstand me, it wasn't a bad encounter. It was a chance meeting during which I realized that no matter how much you "catch up" on what's happened in each other's lives, it has no bearing on your current life. It's a moment of idle speculation and wonder at the many paths people journey on. You have a fleeting sense of loss and sadness for what is no longer there but it doesn't erase that you are at different ends of a spectrum and as soon as you are no longer in each other's company, that person disappears from your mind to once again become a distant memory of the past.

Nickelback's song "Photograph" reminds me of this and every time I hear it, I think this same thing again and again. Picture a young man looking at photos from his past, the town where he grew up, the friends he had in school, the things they did, etc. To me it's as if he's living that fleeting sadness because life has changed since he left. The memories are bittersweet and you don't know if you should hold on or let them go. Here's an excerpt of the lyrics:

"Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say
It's time to say it
Goodbye, Goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for

It's hard to say
It's time to say it
Goodbye, Goodbye

Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh..."

It makes me sad but I laugh too because I've been "saying Goodbye" to memories of old friendships for a long time. It's a ritual for me as a way to let go of what is no longer there. Funny how a two- to three-minute song can pull all that together to express that feeling...