UPO strikes again

Yes, even when we think the ghosts in our pasts have been completely exorcised and are officially at peace, up rises a particularly troublesome individual that makes you shake your head wondering "what the hell was she thinking???". The UPO is a bit of a famous character in my past blog posts. A former staff member whose manner was extremely unprofessional and whose abuse of the absence policies made it very difficult for the rest of the staff to not be interrogated about sick days, she transferred to a new department (& a promotion, unbelievably) after her second disciplinary action. You only get three and then you're fired so she had a narrow escape.

Anyhow, back on topic, the UPO went on her merry way and I would occasionally run into her in the hallways, eventually getting to the point where I could greet her with genuine cheerfulness instead of a superficial smile and mumbling (while thinking to myself "oh god...it's her again). Over the years I didn't think much about her but lately I'd noticed that I hadn't seen her in quite a few months. Odd but whatever. Then the other day, the story came out...."employee arrested for $12K theft". O.M.G. You know it...the UPO strikes again...this time departing after immediate dismissal and charges of a class C felony on her record. Holy crap! That was a very, very stupid thing to do.

Our transactions are thoroughly audited on several levels, each increasing in seniority until you reach the top of the organization in the purchasing division. There was no possible way she could have gotten away with buying personal items on her business accounts equalling more than $12,000. Hell, I feel like I need to justify ordering a spiral notebook for myself and that's only $3! Really dumb UPO, really dumb.

A hero in Bonds undies...

I can't help but giggle from this one. A kangaroo jumps through a house window, wrecking rooms and etc. Man wrestles it down and pulls it from the house.

I can't decide which are my favorite quotes in the article:
1) "At first he thought it was a lunatic ninja..." (this guy has experience with ninjas??)
2) "It leaped through the window, this martial-arts kind of figure. It was very Jackie Chan."
3) "I called him my hero. My hero in Bonds undies."

Funny!

Retreat!!!

So the CNN digest this morning has a story about the pirates that hijacked the oil supertanker off the coast of Somalia. Apparently after receiving a ranson of $3.5 million, they released the tanker to go ashore in a small boat, only to be fired upon by rival pirates wanting the ransom money. It forced the small boat to attempt a return to the tanker, but resulted in the boat capsizing and five of the pirates drowned. The suriviving pirates returned to the tanker.

I can't explain why but this story just tickles my funny bone...it's like cosmic justice. :) What did those pirates think would happen when returning to shore in a small boat and $3.5 million??


http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/africa/01/12/somalia.pirates/index.html

It was a day for Blue...

On Sunday we were heading back to Orlando to catch the a Blue Man show, stay overnight and then do SeaWorld on Monday. Because Shayna had some car trouble, we were forced to take her boyfriend's BMW SUV instead, which I ended up driving because she's not on his insurance yet (due to her losing her license at one point several years ago -- teenage follies, sheesh!). Intimidated by the three and four lanes going each direction, I gave myself a pep talk and away we went. Kirk has a really nice vehicle but the brake was touchy and it took a little time to get used to how much pressure was needed for smooth slowing and avoiding jerky stops. I'll now have car envy until I can replace my aging Chevy truck!

Traffic was pretty good until we got near Orlando, at which point it crawled slowly...past all of the Disney World exits. Once past Disney we picked up some speed and finally made it to Universal Studios' City Walk, home of the Blue Man group.

After picking up our tickets, we wandered around the City Walk shops, purchasing some T-shirts at Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville before finally finding a place to relax until the show began seating. We picked the NASCAR bar for our relaxation spot and chose a patio table where we could enjoy the breeze (until other patrons began smoking anyway) and sun. We had requested some chips & salsa but they were delayed and I finally canceled the order since we had to leave for the show. Seriously now, why should it take 30 minutes to bring out an order of chips & salsa???

I didn't know what to expect at the show, but it was really funny. There was a little boy somewhere in the section to my right that couldn't stop giggling at their antics. They never once spoke a word but used their facial expressions and body language to convey their emotions. They must have very good control over their bodies because not once did they crack up with humor. I would recommend the show to anyone, even children. My only complaint is that it was too loud (rock music). Many years ago I was at a speaking event and got stuck in a seat in front of some giant speakers. The volume projected by those speakers damaged my ear drums and I had ear pain for several weeks following. I had to listen to the radio at a whisper for awhile. Since then loud volumes like what concerts use (& the Blue Man show) hurt my ears. I wasn't expecting that kind of volume so it didn't even occur to me to buy some ear plugs to help filter the sound.

After the show we wandered some more before leaving to check into our hotel. I should mention that making those reservations was quite a feat. We didn't make them before heading to Orlando and, in fact, I made them using Shayna's phone as we walked over for the show. I had several automated voice menus to get through so it didn't immediately occur to me that I had a real person on the phone until some hesitation in the response. Recalling how I kept saying "repeat" because I couldn't hear, I was a bit embarassed. When you have automated menus, the briefest and most direct command is best so I apologized to the lady with the heavily accented English and explained that it was rather loud where I was at. She just didn't quite get it, though, that I didn't have pen & paper to write down confirmation numbers or etc and I began to get a little testy with her. THEN she got it and we had a room reserved. Oy vey...

The hotel was a Holiday Inn and very close to City Walk. While not a five-star establishment, it did have a TGI Friday's directly connected to it and I did expect decent accommodations. I was to be disappointed.

After checking in we headed back to City Walk for dinner. I tried to persuade Travis and Shayna to try the seafood place (it smelled heavenly) but they immediately "ewwed" that idea and we ended up at the outrageously priced Hard Rock Cafe. Our waiter was fabulous though and we enjoyed dinner before heading out to a bar where Shayna and Travis could use their "2 for 1" beer tickets. We found a cutesy little place called Pat O'Briens with a definite Irish theme going on. Once inside I noticed an odor that struck me as...well...cat poo. Neither Shayna nor Travis could smell it for some reason...maybe their beer was odorous. Shayna was too full from dinner to linger long and we headed back to the hotel for the night.

Once there, we immediately had to call maintenance because we discovered that the toilet had...issues. According to the surly maintenance guy, guests often lose their bars of soap in the toilets which causes obstructions. I was rather perplexed with that statement since I'd never considered that soap would find its way into a toilet that often but okay...as long as it was fixed. The next morning we discovered that the shower had only two temperatures for water flow...hot and very hot. I realized that there was something wrong with the water knob because it wasn't lining up correctly with the temperature marks around it, so I imagine the "gear" underneath was stripped. *sigh* With the so-so service and our experience with the facility, I would think twice before recommending that hotel to others.

Did I mention that our room key wouldn't unlock the back door? The little card reader box didn't light up when our key was put into the slot. We even had a replacement key made...

As we packed up to leave Monday morning, I was hoping traffic wouldn't be too bad. SeaWorld was our next destination.

Bull shit and Imaginiff...

Some of Shayna's friends came over last night to play cards and games. We started with Battle of the Sexes but it quickly became tedious since none of us knew the answers. We switched to Imaginiff, which ended up pretty funny! Aside from not knowing everyone well enough to be able to accurately guess an answer for the question, I felt sure enough of my judgement of character to make an effort. (i.e. Imaginiff Travis was a famous fictitious character, which would he be? Smokey the Bear, Spongebob Squarepants, ....) After Imaginiff we switched to cards with a competitive game of Rhummy followed by many rounds of Bullshit. I'd never played Bullshit before but it was fun. I'll have to remember that one for another day.

This morning Jill the Wonder Dog once again had me up before anyone else. Once everyone was ready to face the day, we were on our way to Busch Gardens to meet Shayna's friends. Between yesterday's walkabout at Gatorland and today's walkabout at Busch Gardens, my legs and ankles are aching ferociously! Maybe it's time to get new tennis shoes... Anyhow, we viewed tons of animals at the Gardens in between walking through shops and eyeing the big roller coaster that had stopped mid-ride with passengers trapped in not-so-good places. In the souvenir shops, I had a few specfic things I was looking for but didn't find them...nor did I find a substitute good enough to make me open my wallet. That's okay though. I'd rather not buy anything that have junk sitting around.

One of the most interesting animal exhibits involved a newly constructe area that allows the public to interact more with the animals. For example, the tiger enclosure was partially made of thick plastic or glass so that the animals could come up within a foot of visitors. Also, they had what they called a "tiger pop up", a plastic/glass bubble like feature in the tiger's enclosure. Underneath was a tunnel that visitors could use to access the pop up and get a different view, possibly even be surrounded by tigers. The gorilla exhibit was also like this and we were treated to seeing a mother gorilla playing with her baby right by the wall of plastic/glass.

We also saw a possum with recessive features, which some would automatically think...albino? This possum actually was the other way...it had black tips on white fur! It was pretty interesting to see. It's tail was half black and half white, really kind of bizarre but I thought it a much more attractive color than gray.

After we'd seen nearly everything to see, we headed out for a steak dinner and planned an early night. We're tired!!

P.S. The meerkats are just as cute in person as they are on Animal Planet's "Meerkat Manor".

Lions and tigers and gators..oh my!

We went to the movies last night to catch the new movie "Marley and Me". It was hysterically funny for most of the movie but, if you've read the book, you know the ending is sad. I think the whole movie theater was in tears by the time the credits rolled. It was a great movie though and I'd like to read the book now, since the book always has more to the story than Hollywood's version.

I was up pretty early this morning with Jill the Wonder Dog. Travis and Shayna slept for a little longer before facing the new day. Later we went to Gatorland up towards Orlando-way. It was pretty interesting and much larger than I thought it would be. I was envisioning a small preserve but this place had hundreds of gators of all ages. You could buy a six-pack of hot dogs for $2 and feed the gators but the birds made off with the pieces before the gators could lazily swim to where they had fallen. The younger gators were more food-motivated and I thought a cormorant or snake bird was about to lose a leg several different times. Those slender feet were the same color as the hot dogs so it wouldn't have been a stretch of imagination. It's no wonder the birds were being cautious about where they stepped! It was about the only time they were cautious...

Also featured were some really REALLY large tortoises. They are on the endangered list and from somewhere in Africa. One was 500 lbs and the other 600 lbs. You could pay $5 to feed them a few carrots and scratch their heads. The kids loved it! We visited the small petting zoo where some very rude goats greedily snatched food out of our hands. They completely ignored my comments on sharing the goods. Typical goats... I was a little startled at the appearance of a few of them...no horns and no ears! I immediately thought they were rescued goats from an abusive farm but no...that's how their breed appear (regarding the ears anyway). They had been deliberately dehorned.

We wandered past the exotic bird cage and many more enclosures with reptiles, crocodiles and gators from other countries. Morton and Sheila were two crocs from "Down Under". They were huge! We watched Morton snag some fish while floating along the bottom of his enclosure. He must like the attention because he surfaced right by the fence and burped his fish dinner for everyone before staring at us for awhile. I stared back from the safety of my fenced perch with the words from Jaws running through my mind...."their eyes were black..." Ok, so Morton's eyes weren't black but I got the feeling that if any humans were within reach, they'd be Morton food just as quickly.

We watched a few shows - an educational show with a handler "wrestling"a gator in front a of a large audience and talking about gators in general...especially emphasizing that if one starts to chase you, you should just run very quickly because a human can out run a gator. The second show was a little more entertainment with handlers dangling raw chicken above the water to get a gator to jump into the air for it. I wasn't as entertained as others because it seemed rather demeaning but I know that some places like this have to exist in order to do good for all gators in Florida.

After a long day we headed back to Tampa, a bobble-head turtle safely tucked away in my bag so it can join the other one I purchased on a previous visit.

Christmas lights among the palm trees...

My brother and I are visiting our younger sister in Florida for Christmas, leaving our parents in the frozen tundra of Iowa. They okayed the plan before we purchased our tickets and now here we relax in mild, humid temps while the midwest struggles to clear the ice and snow off the roads.

It's odd seeing Christmas lights and nativity scenes among the palm trees. It almost doesn't feel like Christmas. I got that feeling yesterday as well, as we dealt with flight delays and butt-numbing hours sitting in airports and airplanes. After 15 hours of travel, I was glad to finally reach Tampa at 1:00 a.m. on Christmas Day.

Frankly, we're lucky to be here. There were 34 seats available at 4:30 p.m. when we had the airline check the 7;30 flight out of O'Hare, but they couldn't change our reservations for us at that point. We were told that we had to wait until we got to O'Hare, which ended up being 7:00 p.m. I didn't have much hope until we discovered the 7:30 flight out had been delayed to 8:30 p.m. YES! We hauled ass to the correct concourse for departure and immediately requested standby for that flight (our original connection had already left). By the time everyone had boarded, the screen display showed 10 open seats and we were the first two passengers on the standby list. I knew we were going to make it.

This morning came early as Jill the Wonder Dog was too excited at seeing us to let us sleep in. I finally gave in and took her outside at which point she woke the neighborhood with her barking. When we came back in, my brother and sister were awake and decided to make a grocery run. You'd think in Tampa there would be one grocer who defied tradition and remained open on Christmas Day. Ha! With no open grocery to be found, we ended up showering before going out for breakfast at Village Inn. There were a lot of people with the same idea but we had a table within 20 min. Stuffed, we went back to the house and spent the next five hours napping. :)

Now it's mid-afternoon and we're decided how to spend the remainder of Christmas day. Until next time...

It figures...

It's been over 20 years since I last had to suffer from poison ivy. I had hoped to have a longer record of avoidance but, alas, the universe saw fit to curse me with the tiny, itcy blisters....at the end of summer....after one rummage through the leaves in my small garden to harvest a few green onions...leaves that were stored from last year in a sheltered area...and no evidence of any poison plants in my yard during the past five years...

I'm mystified how this ONE time I came into contact with a leaf when I've been doing a lot of landscaping in the past five years. My only conclusion is that it must have blown in there. *sigh*

I'd forgotton how painful and annoying the rash is. Rest assured, I'll be investigating the garden soon to eradicate the offending leaves, but this time wearing elbow-length yellow rubber gloves!

Choices choices...

I had a conversation with my sister over the weekend about the election. We had had several political discussions over the summer and I thought we were on the same page but she went rogue on me. *sigh* I asked her why she voted the way she did (on an absentee ballot) and she replied that it was based on one aspect of a candidate's economic plan...an extreme aspect of the plan, I might add. I was stymied but the more I thought about it, the more I had to acknowledge that there are likely many more Americans who will take a candidate's "plan" at face value and vote based on a single aspect of the whole. What I want to ask them is "don't you realize that any change in policy the new president wants has to be passed by Congress? Do you really think an extreme policy change will be passed by both the Senate and House?" A change in policy will be revised repeatedly until a compromise is reached that will be very "middle ground" in nature. Sheesh.

Does the general public have no concept of how policies are developed and passed? There's a reason why checks and balances exist and you have to be realistic when you hear a candidate's "plan" for his/her term in office.

I found it interesting that one of the local periodicals, The Corridor Business Journal, had a similar article in it. The writer quoted a few economics faculty from local colleges and all agreed that "[Presidential candidates] design a campaign around the idea of 'Here is where we've been for eight years and here's where I want us to go'. But once in office it's hard to change the reality of challenges with the (federal budget) deficit or the (trade) debt and global cooperation prospects. That's going to greatly impact what they're going to do." and "No one has a magic wand.....It's much more complicated." Nicely said.

Those ugly words..."hiring freeze"...

Over the past six months I've found myself with increasing periods of free time at work. This has been annoying and I had started interviewing for other positions because of it. I didn't find a position that is better or as interesting as my current one, and now find myself almost relieved about that. My employer has gone on a bit of a "we're-not-calling-it-a-hiring-freeze" because of financial problems and it has many people worried. The threat to my position is low since my classification is protected by the union. That doesn't mean that my position can't be eliminated -- it just means that, under the bargaining agreement with the State of Iowa, I'm given notice that my position will be eliminated in either one year or at the time that I obtain a new position, whichever comes first. Although, THIS HAS NOT HAPPENED and likely won't, it's still something to consider when you hear "hiring freeze" and "financial problems" associated with your employer. I do, however, think it's very likely that I'll be reassigned at some point because I've been very upfront about not having enough to do. I've resigned myself to the possibility and even look forward to change. My HR Director has been grateful for my honesty, which is good because it'll keep me in mind should a position open up. hee hee! It's better to use the employees you have than to train someone completely new, in my opinion.

But, back to having free time, I try to minimize the personal things I do unless it's on a lunch break, so finding business-related tasks to fill up the other hours of the day can be a real challenge. Fortunately my employer has free online education tools that are available to increase knowledge or job skills and I've found myself browsing those "classes" in order to relieve boredom or just have something that is change of pace. Some are quite interesting, which I'll likely write about another time.

With regards to the hiring freeze, I'm just going to wait and see what happens.

The autumn hokey pokey...

Iowans often joke about the Midwestern weather and know that on any given day in the autumn or spring, it's just better to dress in layers so you can add or remove as needed to be comfortable. This is why I haven't yet removed my window air conditioning unit from my bedroom and yesterday's heat wave certainly made me consider turning the central air back on!! I was thinking about that in the wee hours of this morning after dragging myself off the couch (where I had fallen asleep) up to my bedroom, only to find myself flinging off my bed the down comforter (that I just pulled out of storage last week). It made me chuckle this morning as I picked it up off the floor where it had fallen and for some reason I began to sing the hokey pokey tune with modified lyrics. It went something like this...

"You put the down blanket on, you take the down blanket off, you put the down blanket on...and then you start to roast..."

Well, you get the gist of it. Unrefined and the product of a still sleepy mind but it was definitely entertaining at 5:30 a.m.!

Although I enjoy the warmer weekends so I can finish up pre-winter projects, I am longing for some consistent weather patterns...ha! As if that would ever happen...

A confusing moment...

I was watching Barbara Walter's special on the British monarchy last night when I suddenly became confused about the music played during several ceremonies. Why on earth would the Queen walk down a carpeted aisle to the American patriotic tune of "My Country Tis' of Thee"?? Every time I heard it, I started singing...well, the few lines of lyrics that I could remember anyway.

By the end of the program, I was guessing that the colonists had taken a British tune and made up our own lyrics to spite their former homeland. But after some googling, I discovered that I wasn't quite accurate on that assumption.

What really happened was an accident: Samuel Francis Smith, a seminary student, had received some German music from a colleague (to translate) when he ran across that tune and created lyrics to it, not knowing that it's also the British national anthem, known as "God Save the King/Queen".

No wonder I was confused!!

What a perv!

So one of our office students told me she has concerns about a class she's taking this semester -- Human Sexuality. Normally I wouldn't blink at some of the things that would come up as curriculum for this kind of course but I have to agree with her that her teacher seems to be a complete perv!

She showed me the article she has to read tonight, something along the lines of "how to make love" with a lot of graphic detail, and then she's to write a paper about it, comparing the information in the article to her personal sexual experiences...in graphic detail. Apparently they don't get credit for writing the paper if it's not in graphic detail. Um...excuse me?? When did this become Hugh Heffner 101? I told her it sounds as if her instructor is trying to get his kicks from the pornographic papers he's requiring them to write.

I recommended that she contact her advisor about the information she's being required to reveal because this seems to be WAY out of line!

Archaeoepidemiology...

I'm still working at catching up on my magazines' past issues and am currently reading a past issue of Archaeology. In it is an article on the analysis of medieval DNA in relation to disease resistance. To my great surprise there is a modern population of people with a mutation in their DNA that gives them a level of immunity to diseases such as AIDS. Who knew?? So, in studying medieval DNA, researchers are seeking the origin of the mutated allele and trying to determine if having this allele also helped resistance to medieval epidemics such as the Black Death. This work is currently only taking place in Europe (from what I have read), but the exciting thing is that with the ongoing research, including tracking where certain diseases appeared and when, and with the creation of a DNA database, researchers may be able to determine how much disease risk is due from genetics versus environmental factors, all of which could lead to new therapies for modern disease management.

This is really cool. :)

No time lately...

I haven't had much free time lately which is why my blogging is rather slow. Between canning and freezing produce for winter and trying to finish up baby shower projects (for a cousin) or etc, I've got events going on at work that require extra hours and a lot of concentration. I'm also starting to meet up with friends for lunches, which is a good and bad thing. Good because I get out of the office for a full hour and bad because...well, I get out of the office for a full hour. LOL. No time to check email or blog over the lunch hour when you're not at your desk!!

The Universe is listening...

Sometime in early July I was "given" the opportunity to join a focus group at work that dealt specifically with the group of employees described as "merit staff". We merit staff are one of many classification of employees in the State of Iowa and fall under the protection of the state bargaining agreement. Because of this legal minefield, my place of employment rarely attempts to learn of issues that are special to our classification due to the restraints placed upon them by the State. Following the flooding in Iowa City, it became apparent that there are issues affecting merit staff that ARE NOT covered by the bargaining agreement and me, having opened my big mouth with a criticism of the treatment towards merit employees by the University, was "honored" with the opportunity to put money where my mouth is. I am so lucky. It's really not that bad but still...I had to laugh at the irony.

Anyhow...at our first meeting a few weeks ago, we were asked a series of questions about how well our respective offices communicate to merit staff. My response? "Not well" and "not in a timely manner", specifically referring to media notices that I read about employee promotions in my department before an email notice is sent to us. Kind of a no brainer, wouldn't you think? Well, with eight of us in this particular small group session, it was surprising how similar some of our experiences were...we were from different parts of campus and yet we shared many issues. One of my comments was that I had been unable to advance in my department because a higher-ranked coworker would claim the more challenging work to buff up her own resume in hopes of advancement, leaving me with very little to promote my own. Technically it's her right to do that but yet she's been talking about submitting promotion paperwork for several years and has yet to complete it!! I laughed it off because I'm used to the behavior by now and I'm really not that concerned about advancement. I enjoy my work and can pay the bills so I'm in a better spot than some, I imagine.

However, lo and behold, the Universe must have been listening because last week I received a call from one of the departments that report to us. They had been looking for an executive secretary and their first round of interviews failed to provide an ideal candidate. Someone (I have yet to learn who) had given them my name and they really wanted me to apply for the position. I hedged and put it off, honestly stating that I really wasn't looking for a new job, but they convinced me to hear them out. Because I do work in human resources right now, I knew that they couldn't formally interview me unless I was an applicant so I spent the weekend racking my brain for dates of employment changes in order to submit my application information. I still don't know when my last position changed and neither does my supervisor. It makes us laugh but I guesstimated based on performance reviews and it'll have to be good enough! Anyhow, at the same time, a friend called me about another position she had seen on the jobline and inquired if I knew who the supervisor would be. I was stymied. It was with the office on the floor above us, so I put on my Sherlock Holmes persona and sniffed out the information for her. There was only one problem with that. It would be a promotion for me as well and I outrank her as well as have more experience. Major guilt trip, but I do intend to submit my name. Then I heard there would be yet another position opening up in a few weeks for the same rank. What the heck!! Do you know how rare it us for these level of positions to be available?? To suddenly have three set before me was just crazy!

It gets better. One of my HR contacts in another department is leaving. I just heard this morning and when I emailed her with my congrats and a bit of ribbing about who would send me "you rock!" emails in the future, she replied that she thought I might be a good replacement for her. I had to set her back in reality on that assumption but otherwise couldn't help but laugh some more.

It kinda makes you want to look at the sky and say "Okay, I hear you! I'm looking at the positions!"

Loud rainbows...

This year's 4th of July celebration was out of the norm for me. Generally my family gets together every year as a sort of mini-reunion type of event. We eat, give each other a hard time, watch fireworks and then join the many other families creeping through late night traffic on the one road going north out of town to get home. However, this year my grandparents had made other plans, my aunt, who usually hostesses the event, had made alternate plans, my sister had flown back to Florida and my parents would likely be exhausted from flood clean-up around their property to really want to celebrate the holiday. My brother, consequently, would have made plans with his girlfriend so....I was at a loss. What did I want to do with my three-day weekend? Hrm....

I ended up in Cedar Rapids for the holiday. Initially the plan was going to be bleaching Becky's basement (at her bf's and now new residence) for the third and final time before moving on to insulating and replacing dry wall. At the time we made the plans, her bf was likely going to be working all day and therefore unable to assist Becky. It wasn't until the 3rd that I learned he would be working a half shift and they would have the basement done before I'd get there. Not a problem for me! I still headed up for a visit to watch fireworks, help Becky with some errands (including moving her son's clothing to the new house) and then help prepare food for the dinner party she and bf had decided to have. I met one of the bf's friends, some of Becky's coworkers and then their neighbors who brought their 3.5-year old daughter. She was a cutie!

The food was good and plentiful, the weather was lovely and I thoroughly enjoyed hanging out on the screened-in porch. Soon it was dark and you could hear the popping of firecrackers going off down the street. Savannah was quite disturbed by that and kept her ears covered with her hands, scared of the noise. She knew we'd be watching fireworks over the tree line but I don't think she fully understood what that meant. When the first of the exploding colors appeared in the sky, she nearly climbed her dad's leg from fear. She was absolutely certain those fireworks were going to come through the window to get her. It took some talking to convince her that they were too far away for that and weren't they pretty? Like rainbow colors. After the fireworks were over, she was completely focused on the association of fireworks with rainbows and loud noises. She finally declared that they were "loud rainbows" which made me crack up. If she remembers very little about the holiday, it will be that there were loud rainbows.

Waiting for the waters to recede...

So at the same time as Becky was dealing with the Cedar River in Cedar Rapids and I was being told to NOT report to work due to the Iowa River in Iowa City, my parents had already evacuated their home along the Des Moines River near Keosauqua. They're currently bumming at my brother's place while waiting for the water to recede. They drive by and check the level from the end of the elevated driveway but don't anticipate being able to get back into the house until next week sometime. Fortunately it doesn't appear as if the water entered the 1st floor. If the Des Moines had exceeded 1993 levels, they would have a lot more damage, but it actually remained lower than the 1993 flood levels. I jokingly asked my mother if they'll be raising the house another few feet, to which she responded with an adamant "yes".

My parents are lucky. Having a home along river means special construction to allow for some level of flooding so they don't have a "basement". There is an area under the house where the furnace is kept so that will need to be checked and their central air unit may need to be checked as well. Other than that, their garden is ruined. Everything else was removed or moved to high ground. Fortunately for them, I have six more tomato plants to get in the ground so at least I can keep them supplied with tomatoes this summer. I'm a little bummed at being denied zucchini (their garden) but if I get to feeling REAL amibitious, maybe I'll rent a tiller and make room for a zucchini plant in my yard as well. It's unlikely but I'll allow for the possibility. :)

Not until October...

I stood along the curb in the Time Clock area of Cedar Rapids, watching as the second of Becky's trash piles was loaded into the garbage truck, and listened to one of the garbage collector guys talk about the flood debris clean-up. All day city dumptrucks had been passing by, filled with the remains of appliances, carpet, furniture and other items homeowners had discarded from flood-damaged homes. I knew it would take awhile to get everything cleaned up but I didn't expect to hear that the garbage collectors had been told to expect it to take until October before all of the flood debris is collected. Holy crap!

I missed most of the drama of debris-lined streets when driving into the city. It wasn't until Becky and I took a quick trip to her boyfriend's home (she needed her camera to document damage for her FEMA claim) that I really got an eyeful. As we navigated our way from 11th street 6th street, my eyes almost couldn't take it all in. The water was gone, but you could see the remains of the water lines on homes, varying from mid-1st level to as high as the 2nd level. Whole households were piled up along the curbs, plastic lawn chairs lying next to antiques next to mountains of clothing, books, lamps, etc. It was a sobering sight and a reality check for just how fortunate Becky had been to only get a flooded basement.

Houses passed by in flashes of color from the color-coded placards officials had attached to each front door, indicating how safe the house was for re-entry. Green, yellow, red and purple; homeowners dreaded the red and purple and sighed in relief at seeing green or yellow. Becky's house was coded yellow -- some structural damage but owners could re-enter at their own risk -- with an additional handwritten comment that home inspectors had declared the water heater a goner. There was no mention of her furnace so she'll have to get an electrician to look it over, make repairs or replace it, before she can have the electricity turned back on. Before we were done hauling the dripping wet, moldy, sewage-slimed items from her basement, her washer and dryer had joined the discard pile. They, too, were casualites of the flood.

It took about 10-hours for removal of the damaged items, sheet rock, and framing from the basement. We left the upper sheet rock on the walls despite knowing it would also be coming down. Our first mission was to remove the wet stuff, the rest could be done another day. At first it was only Becky doing the work. I joined her an hour after she started and then another friend had joined us by lunchtime. Who knew what three women could accomplish in six hours? By the time the men showed up, we had removed 90% of the crap. By 4:00 p.m., muscles and back sore from improper lifting and sunburned from breaks taken on the deck (away from the moldy basement), I told Becky that she had "a lot of shit". She defended herself by claiming most of it was her ex-husband's possessions, left behind when he deserted her. I responded that it didn't matter....everything that came out of the basement became, in my mind, "shit" at that point of the day. Although she had been making progress in getting his stuff to his mother's home, there was still a lot of things left behind that we then had to cart out of there. 200+ soggy, moldy books are not light as feathers! We saved what we could and tossed the rest.

The day, of course, was not without comic relief. Becky's ex used to call himself a "redneck" and would indulge that claim by purchasing items that he believed made him a redneck. It wasn't until a talking, singing, moving deer head joined their household that I had to give him some credit for the claim. That deer head even had a remote control. One of the first things I said to Becky before joining her in flood clean-up duty was that I hoped the deer had been submerged. The gods were kind and we got a perverse sense of enjoyment out of carting that thing out of the basement. It got really funny when Becky took a sledgehammer to it...and could barely hurt it. That deer was so rubberized that the sledgehammer would bounce back off it. She didn't give up easily and it wasn't until she got one satisfying wack on the back of the mounting piece that she breathlessly tossed the head on the trash pile and headed back to work. The rest of us were nearly collapsed on the ground from laughing. It wasn't long after that the garbage truck showed up for the 2nd pile of debris we had created (the first pile had already been taken away) and Becky rushed out to watch the deer head be crushed by the machine. I think the garbage guys were just as entertained by us as we were by watching the deer disappear into the jaws of death. Becky carted around one of the plastic antlers for awhile as a trophy.

It was a lot of work. I could barely walk the day after due to sore muscles, but I'm glad we got it done so quickly. Even with only a few days post-flood, mold had started to grow on items in the basement. If we had waited longer, the mold would have reached dangerous levels. We got it done though and Becky's family came the next day to finish up the removal of last pieces of sheet rock and start the process of FEMA claims, etc. Today Becky and her dad are scrubbing the basement walls. The longest part of the process will be waiting for an electrician to give them the "all clear" to have service restored. With the number of homes damaged by the floods, that might take awhile. In the meantime, Becky & son are safe and secure at her boyfriend's home (also damaged by the flood).

A different perspective: Later Becky told me of the reaction of her boyfriend's brother as they navigated their way back along 6th street at the end of the day. It's one thing to see the devastation of the flood from a civilian perspective. It was awful, and I knew it would be a long journey to a full recovery. It's quite another thing to hear a soldier compare the damage to the devastation in Iraq. Apparently as he followed them back to the boyfriend's house, the devasation he witnessed gave him a flashback of Iraq during his last tour of duty and he arrived at his brother's home pretty shaken. It would never have occurred to me that there could be a comparison between the two. I've always envisioned the devastation in Iraq to be much much worse than what we are dealing with. It definitely gives you something to think about...

911 Noah...

The slogan in my hometown area during the 1993 flood was "911 Noah". It's been 15 years since the last major flood and now we're revisiting that adventure with The Flood of 2008. Where is Noah and his ark when you need him?

So, I was browsing some photos on the Iowa City Press Citizen website and found one that had me cracking up with laughter. Even when you're faced with the destructive elements of flood waters to your home, some Iowans can't help but maintain their humor. Thank goodness for that! I love the ducks in this image...

So the Corps of Engineers are predicting (as of right now) that flood waters will be higher than they were in 1993. Reports from relatives and friends indicate that 250 miles of roadways by the Mississippi River have been closed due to flooding and peak flood levels likely won't occur for another week. My parents, who live along the Des Moines River in southeastern Iowa, are looking at a potential evacuation on Monday.

And here the Department of Natural Resources were declaring that this summer would have a bad drought.... Joke's on you!