A few funny lines...

~ Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

~ Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

~Today I'm planning on being slower than a herd of turtles stampleding through peanut butter.

~ If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

~ I don't suffer from stress, I'm a carrier.