**snicker**

I just have to post these. Sorry Ed! I did take out the raunchy and cruel ones.



TRUE IOWAN
An Iowan was doing some shopping in downtown Des Moines. He looked up at the top of a tall building and discovered a man ready to jump...
"Stop," he yelled, "remember you're someone who has value!"
The man yelled back, "I just lost everything in the stock market!"
"But remember you're important to your wife," yelled the Iowan.
"She divorced me and took everything I had that was not in the stock market."
"Your children, remember your children," yelled the Iowan.
"They never call," said the man.
"Then your parents, remember your parents," yelled the Iowan.
"Dead as doornails," said the man.
"Then think of all the Hawkeye football games you will miss," yelled the Iowan.
The man shouted, "But, I'm a Cyclone Fan!"
The Iowan replied, "Jump, you dumb ass, JUMP!"



What is Iowa State's idea of Fantasy Football?
Winning a game in November and attending a bowl game after the New Year.



How do you keep a Cyclone out of your front yard?
Put up some goalposts.