Turning into a New Decade

It's funny how quickly the years pass by you. You finish college and it seems you have all the time in the world to do the things you want to do. Then, you start a full time job and each day starts to blend into the rest until you realize that you barely register the changing of the seasons. Suddenly, you're 28 years old and you haven't done anything you thought you would have done by that age. You vow to plan your future better but again you sucked into the routines of life and then you're turning 29 in the blink of an eye. That's when it hits you. In one year you'll be 30 and you stop to think about the path you've taken, the decisions you've made, what plans you still haven't been achieved, etc etc until you feel overwhelmed with unaccomplished goals. Are you where you want to be in life? If not, then isn't it about time you change that? Are you doing what you want to do? No? Then isn't it time to change that also? I've discovered that the older I get, the more philosophical I get. It's as if I wasn't able to put anything into perspective until the past few years. As they say, hindsight is 20/20 and I think I missed a lot of opportunities in my life. But, as they say "C'est la vie" (That's Life). You can't change the past. So, here I stand on the cusp of turning into a new decade with my 30th birthday. I can definitely say that I've experienced all of these misgivings, and I'm taking the steps to change my future so that I'm no longer "settling", but can, instead, seek to do the things that I want to do.

Lil' Sheila says that your 20's are the time in which you learn all of life's lessons and your 30's is when you apply those lessons. I agree with most of that but I don't think you stop learning your lessons when you turn 30. I still feel like a kid!! Maybe that's because I don't have kids while my mother had three by the time she was my age. I don't know. However, Lil' Sheila's comment got me thinking about what I've learned in life. Here's what I've come up with thus far. I'm sure there are more, but they'll come to mind later in their own time.

1. Don't take life so seriously. You don't have to have a life plan or time table for achieving certain goals. It's nice to have an idea of a deadline, but it should be flexible to allow for those curve balls that get thrown at you from time to time. Take things at a pace that's comfortable for you because all will fall into place sooner or later.

2. Laugh and laugh often. Find humor in something everyday. Laughter is the best form of therapy, even if all you have to laugh at is yourself. Admit it, sometimes you do really crazy stuff if you stop to consider it.

3. Accept people for who they are. Face it, you may not like something about that person in the cubicle next to you, but they're not going to change just for you. If you don't accept that their idiosyncracies are part of who they are, you'll waste a lot of time obsessing over something that you can't change. It's quite liberating if you really try to follow through on this.

4. Be respectful of all things. Even when people don't deserve it, you don't want to sink to their level. Consider how that behavior would reflect on you and act accordingly. I try to respect all things in my life, even if they are inanimate.

5. Be yourself. People will either like you or they won't. Don't act differently just to gain their affection or approval. You will only get hurt in the end.

6. Be honest with yourself. No one is perfect and yes, you do have faults.

7. You will make mistakes. Again, no one is perfect. Life is about learning so own up to your mistakes and try to do better the next time. Also, accept the consequences of your mistakes and actions. You did them, and you must deal with the results of them.

8. A person's character is defined more by their actions, not their words. Pay attention and be aware of false promises when actions are contradictory.

9. Looks can be deceiving. When Christina Aguilera first released "Beautiful", I didn't pay much attention. It wasn't until I heard that she wrote it in reaction to how those who live alternative lifestyle are treated because of the way they look, that it really sunk in just how much we do judge people on superficial things. When I went into the tattoo parlor last Tuesday, the student clerk had facial tattoos as well as facial piercings. I was fascinated but didn't stare. I smiled and acted no differently than I would with a clerk who worked at the gas station. I made certain I thanked him for the information and when I got a beautiful smile in return, I knew that he realized I was not judgmental. Sometimes you can sense when people are putting up that protective armor around themselves to ward off anything hurtful. I sensed no such armor with him, which made me feel good too.

I suppose there are expectations of what someone should be like as a person entering her 30's, but I don't care. I set my own expectations and I'm going to treat this birthday no differently than any other. The number may change, but I'm still the same kid at heart. Heaven forbid I should ever "act my age". Anyone who suggests such a thing can bite their tongue!